Growing up, I experienced a lot of rejection and isolation. Many of my peers excluded me, mocked me, and took advantage of my kindness. Over time, that rejection shaped how I saw myself. I carried deep insecurity and self-doubt, always feeling like I didn’t belong. I felt invisible, lonely, and unimportant. Those wounds didn’t stay in my childhood, they followed me into adulthood, affecting my friendships and relationships. Many of them ended in rejection, reinforcing the belief that I was unloved and unwanted.

Eventually, I entered a relationship with someone who, like me, carried a past filled with hurt and brokenness. We believed marriage was the right next step, but our foundation was built on fear, insecurity and unmet needs rather than healing. His job required him to be away often, and the loneliness became overwhelming.

During that season, I began experiencing severe anxiety and panic attacks. They were so intense that my body would freeze in fear. I couldn’t leave my house, couldn’t function normally, and eventually had to quit my job because my emotional health completely took over my life. I sought help through emergency room visits, medications, therapy, and psychiatric care, but instead of improving, the panic attacks only grew worse. As my mental health declined, so did my marriage. In my desperate search for love, comfort, and validation, I made choices that caused even more damage, and ultimately, the marriage ended in divorce.

After the divorce, I tried to numb the pain rather than face it. I ignored the anxiety and filled the emptiness with partying, drinking, and staying out late. I was lost, exhausted, and spiraling into one of the darkest seasons of my life.

But even then, God wasn’t finished with me.

In the middle of that darkness, I reached out to my best friend, and she invited me to Vous Church. It was there that I encountered Jesus in a way I never had before. I didn’t just hear about Him. I met Him. I realized that everything I had been searching for; love, worth, safety, and identity could only be found in Him. Jesus met me right where I was and invited me to surrender my brokenness instead of trying to fix myself.

At Vous Church, I found more than a place to attend, I found a family. A community where I didn’t have to perform, pretend, or prove my worth. I could be fully myself and still be loved. Slowly, the fear, insecurity, and loneliness that once controlled my life began to loosen their grip. God began reshaping my identity and teaching me what it truly meant to belong.

In June 2025, during worship at VousCon, God met me powerfully once again. In that moment, I felt a deep conviction that He was asking me to trust Him fully even with my mental health and to lay my medication down. It wasn’t reckless or impulsive; it was a moment of faith and obedience. For a season, I walked without medication, learning to rely on God in a new and intimate way. That season stretched me, refined me, and revealed areas of my heart that still needed healing.

As time went on, I felt led to return to medication. Not as a step backward, but as part of the journey God was continuing to walk with me. Through this process, God also began stripping away everything I had once relied on for security. I lost my job. My finances were shaken. Everything familiar was removed, and I realized God wasn’t punishing me. He was rebuilding me. He was teaching me to trust Him not just for healing, but for provision, identity, and daily dependence.

Today, I am still in the process. I haven’t reached complete healing yet, but I believe with all my heart that I am closer than I’ve ever been. God is giving me clarity, wisdom, and the answers I need; one step at a time. I no longer measure my faith by how “fixed” I feel, but by how deeply I trust the One who is walking with me.

God has taken my story of rejection and begun turning it into one of acceptance, my fear into faith, and my loneliness into belonging. I now know without a doubt that I am deeply loved, never abandoned, and fully held by Him. And even the parts of my story that are still unfolding are being written with purpose, grace, and hope.

Healing doesn’t always come all at once, but God is faithful in the process. If He’s still writing your story, it means He’s not done yet.

If this story sounds like yours, I hope you know there is hope. God sees you, He loves you, and He’s walking with you, even in the waiting